Some insights I’ve gained from my first month of Fertility Awareness

So I think you guys know that I started charting my cycles last month as I finally embraced Fertility Awareness.  I learned a ton during my experience of going from completely unaware of my body’s fertility patterns to somewhat aware. If you are interested in fertility awareness, but haven’t taken that first step yet, here are a couple of things I personally learned. I don’t know if you gentlemen readers are too interested, as it’s all about periods and girlie stuff like that, but you can read if you want to. It’s not a secret or anything.

Stuff I learned:

1. Ignorance sucks.

During our first eight months of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, my sadness and frustration were complicated by my complete ignorance about what was going on.

I had a vague understanding that the Pill may have messed up my hormones, and that I might have to wait a while for them to get back on track (and by “a while” I figured something like 1-3 months). I also had a vague understanding that you could identify fertile periods by taking your temperature every morning and by paying attention to cervical fluids, and I tried keeping track of both for a while, but my knowledge was spotty and I just ended up more confused than ever. I didn’t know how to read the mixed signs I was getting, and I had no idea what to make of my 50-day cycle. I read every change in my body – from swelling fingers to back pain – as a possible sign of pregnancy, and was thus devastated time and time again as I discovered they were not.

And I wasted a bunch of friggin’ money on stupid unnecessary pregnancy tests.

Now that I’ve read a whole book on the subject of cycles and fertility, and have thoroughly charted a full cycle, I feel a lot more confident and in control. I was still deeply upset to find that I still wasn’t pregnant by the end of the cycle, but at least I understood what was going on. I could put a name to it, and that felt good. After I was done grieving, I was glad to at least have an idea of what the problems were and how to address them. And I began to understand that my whacky cycles for the past 8 months were pretty normal for having just gone off the Pill. Some women take years to start ovulating after stopping the Pill.

I now wish desperately that I had learned all of this stuff a long time ago. It seems so unfair that I had to endure eight months of bewilderment and frustration before finally getting a clue.

I can’t believe I’m only figuring this stuff out now, after four years of marriage and nine months of trying to get pregnant. I can’t believe I had to thrash my way through all those months of ignorance and moments of “What the #@^&?” to get to where I am now.

I don’t want anyone to go through what I did. I want women to have knowledge. I want them to have awareness. I want women to learn about this stuff ahead of time, before they reach the point where they feel like they’ll die if they don’t get pregnant. I regret waiting so long to learn about it, and I don’t want others to experience this kind of regret. So please: learn more now!

2. At the same time, it does kinda suck having to pay such close attention to your body’s signs and stuff all the time.

I am an absent-minded person by nature – kind of flighty and inattentive about anything that’s not inside my own head. It’s hard for me to practice any kind of awareness. Fertility awareness is real challenge for me, I’m not going to lie: sometimes I just want to be able to forget about it. But when I think about it reasonably, I conclude that it’s worth it. I am gaining important knowledge.  Acquiring knowledge always takes a lot of self-discipline. If I was willing to study hard for six years to become a master of literature, I should be willing to put in some hard work to become the master of my own fertility. The consequences are life-long.

[Note: my use of the word “work” is kind of misleading. Fertility awareness doesn’t take more “work” than brushing your teeth every day does; it just takes attention. Which is hard for me.]

3. Bonus: the NFP people were right: fertility awareness does help you to predict your period. Huh. That’s nice to know.

In fact, I found it easier to predict my period using FAM than using the Pill. On the Pill I generally had a vague three-day window in which to expect it. Now, I know that when my basal body temperature drops I can expect it within a couple of hours.  That’s how it worked this last time, anyways. Let me tell you, that is handy information.

Ladies, if you are not entirely convinced by the usefulness of FAM, at least you can have this little bonus benefit of being able to predict your periods. Well, that is, it’s useful if you’re an irregular woman who normally has trouble with that. You regular 28-day women who don’t know what I’m talking about because your periods happen like clockwork? You suck and you can’t be a part of our cool club that uses magic (a.k.a. basal body temperature) to predict our periods.

4. A lot of women still worry that basal body temperature is taken somewhere other than in the mouth, and this is a major barrier to acceptance.

Let me assure you, you take your basal body temperature the same way you would take your temperature for a fever: with a thermometer in your mouth, kinda under the tongue. Only you do it in the morning when you’re still in bed. The words “body basal” do not indicate that it needs to be taken anywhere that could conceivably be considered your body’s “base.”

So these are some of the things I’ve learned. How about you? Those of you who have used NFP/FAM:  what additional insights have you gained? If you are choosing not to use FAM, or aren’t at the stage of life in which you need to think about your fertility, what do you worry/wonder about?

Want to learn more? Consider purchasing Tony Weschler’s Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health.
I love this book and totally recommend it. If you buy from the link I get a teensy little commission.

If you’re in Canada you can get it here.